In this time and age, in my opinion, most teenage
relationships are for short term and sometimes can only be classified as flirt
or a contractual relationship gone wrong (honestly I know people who are in
those kind of relationship).
What makes it hard for my position is that I am with a
same sex relationship which I think is hard to find since we are really crazy for
each other. It is like the “zing” from the movie, “Hotel Transylvania”. But
like all relationship, there are also some obstacles that we have to face as
lovers. And one of them is the huge difference of our own characteristics.
But like all problems, there is bound to have a solution
to it. We just have to think really carefully on what should we do and how we
should do it. This is how I do it.
1.) Find the Root of the Problem
The both of you should talk about it and find the problem
with something that you are fighting about. For my part, it is his lacking of
presence since we are in a long distance relationship for now. And when I
needed someone to motivate me, instead of helping, he then gave me a cold
shoulder. And for my part, I know that the nature of his job is really taxing
in both his mind and body and I just gave him another problem which is pretty
harsh for me.
What we do: We talked about and made a list of what is
causing the problem and the tear to our relationship. A nice talk would really
help the relationship and thinking for a way to solve the root of the problem.
2.) Remove the Wall Called Pride
Nothing will happen if no one will say sorry. Be humble.
We all make mistakes so; try not to blame it all on yourself or even to your
partner. If he/she says sorry first, admit your mistakes too. Do not let your
pride tear out your relationship just because of some misunderstanding that
happened.
What we do: We are both boys, so it’s kind of hard who
will be the first one to lower their pride. But I can’t exactly remember who
said sorry first. Maybe it was him so; I guess I should give him the credit.
And when he said sorry, I also told him that I am sorry for being so angry at
him for not recognizing my pain or my plea for him to send me a text message at
least once a day. But when you say sorry, you should actually mean it and never
repeat the same mistake again.
3.) Make an Agreement that both will Comply
So, you actually talked about the problem, now is the
time for you to actually do the part. Tell him/her some of your concerns and
think about making up to it. That also applies to you. Make an agreement that
will both satisfy you.
What we do: We actually talked about how we could make
our relationship healthy. We agreed on things like, if he actually have some
spare time, he could really make an effort to send a text message to me despite
the fact that he don’t want to send to much text message which I agreed since I
am not forcing him to change himself for me. And on my part, I will do my best
to control my emotions and not let it burst for building up a huge
misunderstanding.
4.) Keep on Communicating
Follow up with you agreement and make sure that the both
of you are doing their share. It’s kind of hard at first, but when you are
doing it regularly, it will become a habit and you won’t find it too hard. Just
keep your line of communication open so that you could easily talk about things
and fix misunderstanding as soon as possible.
What we do: Even in small time, we actually talk pretty
much anything that could make our relationship stronger. I now actually don’t
mind him that he could not send me a text message when he wakes up because he
could just reply to me whenever I send a text message and I am fulfilling his
demand without much effort or trying to change myself.
5.) Do not Change
A relationship won’t be a real relationship if you
sacrifice the real you just to make him/her happy. That would leave a bad taste
for your partner if he/she realizes that you have change and that would make
you unsatisfied with yourself and would make a long term problem for the both
of you.
What we do: We just talk over it and making sure that we
could create a space for our mistakes and when we do a mistake, we try to talk
over it.
Our relationship might not be that long, but I know and
we believe that we could actually make it work. And since facing a problem in
this kind of relationship is normal, we will try to make it work. Just like how
we did. We just fixed the problem and we are not sweet as ever and we are now
making sure that we understand both sides of the story before thinking
something weird for each other.
This marks the 18th day of my Summer Happiness
Challenge.
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